During the months leading up to my divorce, I questioned everything about myself, so whenever friends or family questioned the reasons for our divorce, I was sometimes at a loss to explain. Yes, I was the one who started the divorce proceedings, after years of my spouse hinting, and then proclaiming that it was her desire to see us divorced. (Not that she was alone in this desire, but even this is difficult to determine the origin and who gave up first.) To make matters even more complicated, I work on staff at a church. The prospective loss of my job and worse, my church fellowship was heavy on my heart when I started these proceedings. NOTE: I'm writing this within days of my divorce becoming official. Yet, I felt a peace accompanied by God's direction that this was the right path. So even though this finality of court proceedings is a recent event, I have mourned the loss of my marriage many years ago.
This article is helping me in my search for healing . . .
"I wasn’t blameless in my marriage. Far from it. I often acted self-righteously, believing I was never wrong. I said unkind things with a condescending tone. I lost my temper more times than I care to recall. There were moments when I struggled to remember joy and peace was a distant memory that seemed to belong to someone else's life. And that’s just for starters.
