It is always revealing when reminded of how much of oneself is oblivious to your own thoughts, perceptions and actions.
So to quickly deal with the surmised motive behind my slipping behind the fence of my public facade, I'm still dealing with grief and pain. Grief for a life and love that also I let slip away, no matter the rapidly changing introspections of that period of my life. And to be brutally transparent, so much of the past few years is literally a blur. Some of it can be attributed to me painting over memories in an effort to recast myself in a more favorable light, perhaps. Then, there is a more physical cause, as I'm getting older, memories are becoming more of an hurdle to recall than in years past. And then there is the unknown that hovers over us all. What is the old saying, there are two viewpoints in every relationship and then there is the truth?
Well, I'm not sure I believe that is always the case. Sometimes there is just the truth, and two people trying to navigate their own survival in the vacuum of what used to be.

